so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
