She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
