Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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