Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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