so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
