Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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