I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
