The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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