also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
OPIZZABONMYDICK
That accounts for only three of the penises
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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