u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
