She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
