it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
