yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So. Much. Porn.
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