ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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