your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
