I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
