Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
