I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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