And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize