we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
