no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
