bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
