Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
