Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
