Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
