isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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