Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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