dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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