I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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