but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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