But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Randomize
