You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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