Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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