i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
