Fine. I'll sleep in my office
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I lost the right to judge tonight
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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