it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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