he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
You can't just leave with hair like that
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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