Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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