me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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