So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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