I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize