Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
