Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
