I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
