So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
