I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
