a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize