to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
