We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize