Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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