kristin has been a bad kristin
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
