A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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