Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I think my moral compass just broke
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