Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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