be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
