i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
