dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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