Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize