everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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