Sorry, I don't speak sober.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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