Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I could fuck to npr.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
