There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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