WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
