those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Boobs speak an international language.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Randomize
