I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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