I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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