He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
