im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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